#i dont think men have to be strong and mean and physically any kind of way to be considered Real Men

[uncle-fruity]

I have long hair and a beard. I don't bind. I don't shave. I don't voice train, so my voice is fairly androgynous unless I really put in some effort to go one way or the other. Sometimes I wear eyeliner. I usually wear black pants and a t-shirt/tank top. I'm happy looking like this.

But I have gotten ma'amed and sirred by the same person in the span of one minute multiple times. People can see that there's some gender fuckery going on here, but they do not understand it. I never correct random strangers about my gender identity, meaning they are always correcting themselves when they change their mind about which gender they think I am.

There is no going stealth for me anymore. Not without a LOT of effort and/or physical discomfort. I wouldn't even know which gender to try to go stealth as. Maybe before T I could have stealthed as a GNC woman, but unless someone has a time machine or a T-Be-Gone potion, that's a moot point.

Should I go stealth as a woman? I'd have to shave every day (and probably still have dark stubble on my face by the end of the day) and probably present even more hyper femme than I did when I was actually IDing as a girl just to give the impression of a woman that people wouldn't immediately clock as Woman But Wrong. And not just shaving my face, but shaving my chest on any day I wanted to wear something low cut (and like...I would want to do that all the time; I wear a lot of tank tops). I once had a panic attack as a teenager at the thought of having to wear make up every day (at the time I thought no one would hire a woman who didn't want to wear makeup), but I would likely have to wear make up every day to go stealth enough to hide my gender fuckery. If nothing else, concealer to cover the aforementioned stubble. Any amount of butchness could easily break through the illusion of stealth if I slipped even one day. I would fail to perform the gender I have always had trouble performing without going over the top. At least all my legal papers have F marked as my gender -- oh, except my most recent driver's license has a picture of me with a full beard, so I guess that's another thing I'd have to beg the system to change for me & hope they go along with it. That's a lot of effort for a low maintenance guy to go through just for the "privilege" of hiding who I really am.

Or maybe I could try to stealth as a man? Wear a binder that restricts my breathing and hurts after prolonged use. Like, fuck. I stopped wearing bras because they were uncomfortable, so to switch over to binding every day? Fuuuuck that. I can't afford a visit to the dentist, much less surgery not covered by insurance that would have me out of commission for several weeks. Also, I have wide hips. I'm short. 5 foot nothing. So often even cis men are emasculated & degendered based on their height, so as a trans person that's just another avenue for people to break through the illusion of stealth. I'd have to train my voice down. I would have to change my whole personality to perform as manly as possible and not the fruity, smiley, bouncy guy that I am. Not that cis men can't be fruity, smiley, or bouncy, but if you're trans and trying to hide you can't really express yourself in any kind of way that would call your gender into question, and as I said, even cis men get degendered and/or bullied by others when they fall out of line. Frankly, if I was a cis man, I would probably still have my manhood called into question all the time just because I like ""feminine"" interests and vibe easier with the expectations placed on women more than the expectations placed on men. I am not tough or hard or domineering and I don't want to be. I'm not a human shield to protect everyone else. I don't have the resources or bandwidth to be a provider for anyone. My expression of sexuality is deeply unmanly/degendered. And while I believe that men shouldn't have to be any of those things, if we're talking about going stealth, I'd have to overcompensate where I could due to my lack of traditional manliness which, to be honest, I do not think I could perform every day for the rest of my life even if I tried. Not to mention all the hoops I'd have to go through to get my legal documents to look like they match my gender, which takes a lot of effort and money and time to finalize.

I guess what I'm trying to say is either attempt to go stealth would come with a lot of effort I am mentally & emotionally unable to put in. (As in I am neurodivergent & low maintenance by default, and I can barely mask at all these days, much less construct & effectively perform the mask of gender bullshit when no part of my heart is in it.) I'm too manly to be a woman and too womanly to be a man. In reality, that's how I like it. I like having a gender expression that confuses people who don't know how to think outside of two specific gender boxes. I like breaking gendered expectations placed on me. I like being my own person with a complex and healthy relationship to my queer ass gender(s). I don't want to try to go stealth, but I also genuinely think that I wouldn't be able to. I really don't think I could pull it off even if I put in maximum effort. And even then, to keep it up forever? No way am I doing that.

Honestly, at this point, I'd rather die being called a faggot than attempt to go back into a closet. Above all, though, I'd like to exist happily & comfortably wrapped up in my gender fuckery without the fear of someone killing me about it. And I don't think going stealth is going to help us as a society break down gender roles & expectations. If it works for you and that's how you like to live your life, I am fully on board with your interest and effort towards that goal, but to me stealth wouldn't be safety even if it was possible. To me, that's like saying prison is safety from homelessness: yeah, you have a roof over your head and a bed to sleep in every night to protect you from the elements, but at what cost?

someone brought up the concept of going stealth in a trans server and it made me kind of realize a thing I never see people talk about when the concept of ‘stealth privilege’ (not scare quotes just quotes) is mentioned. maybe it is mentioned but i’ve never seen it

I’m nonbinary/multigender. I can’t fucking DO stealth. I’d have to shove myself into the closet and present as a cis [my agab] or transition to looking like a cis [not my agab] (like i have the money for that (i don’t)). The closest I get to that is not mentioning my gender online IDK it just really hit me that if shit hit the fan a lot of nonbinary people would have to suck it up and present as a gender they don’t identify as. And y’know obviously in a case where i’d have to recloset myself or where other nbies would have to, I’d/we’d have way bigger worries than gender presentation and dysphoria but i never really thought about the fact that I don’t have the option to transition and then go stealth mode as someone who wants a very gender-fuck presentation

There isn’t really a point to this it just made me think more about the stuff you always talk about like how multigender people are consistently excluded from trans conversations.

(ALSO YES THERE’S ALL THE OTHER STUFF ABT STEALTH PRIVILEGE LIKE HOW GROUPS OF PEOPLE CANNOT TRANSITION OR STILL WOULDN’T BE SAFE IF GOING STEALTH, ETC ETC. THERE’S ALSO A LOT OF TRANS PEOPLE WHO COULDN’T GO STEALTH AND WOULD HAVE TO RECLOSET IN A SCENARIO WHERE YOU’D NEED TO PRETEND TO BE CIS. NOT IGNORING THAT. JUST. NOT THE POINT I’M BRINGING UP)

it's a tough conversation and while it's good that some people can go stealth, even if it's painful, even if it is presenting as the wrong gender, other trans people struggle to find ways to do that in the first place. some people can fit into the narrow male-female binary and pass as a cisgender person of gender they don't identify as for safety reasons and while it's horrible, it's good to have that there

i can't go stealth, either, it's impossible for me. i'm either gendered as a genderqueer cis guy (everyone in my neighbor thinks i'm a cis man, whenever i bring up that i'm trans theyre shocked). people dont ignore my feminine clothes or make my makeup either. ive tried to pass as a cishet "normal" looking man for a long time and while most strangers in passing didnt catch on a lot of people in my life gave me shit for it

im misgendered constantly, im sexualized for my hips and ass, but people are threatened by my beard and deep voice. i can't pass as a cis woman because of that, or how big and bulky and hairy my body is. but yet when people find out i have a uterus, i'm being constantly gendered as a straight woman instead of being recognized as a gay trans man

i can't even pass as a cis butch lesbian anymore. i'm genderfucked, like you said. there's nothing left to pass as

i don't know how to present in order to look "normal" anymore. i'm intersex. i have literally never been able to figure this out. my body is too masculine for womens clothes, too feminine for mens clothes. im androgynous, a hermaphrodite, theres nothing i can do to stop making people question my gender when they see me.

nobody should have to go stealth but some queer people literally can't, you're right. i think often about how the hell i'm supposed to unqueer myself for "Serious" situations. i can't figure it out

[lavandulawrites]

(Not sure if this was asked before, hope u dont mind) im a bit tired of the 'always weak Reader'. Like, why is the reader always so weak? The other characters always more strong- its not fair at all. So i wanted to ask, would u love the tought of the Reader finally being more stronger then characters? (Yandere's, of course.) for once, Reader is hard to catch, better at everything whether attacking running and etc, maybe even playfull like bratty but not rotten and actually kind to others- chaotic personality i guess.. Maybe it can be somehow inspiration to you. I hope u have a good day :3 (and please dont mind my bad english)

This is a very good question, anon.

I do get why many authors make the ‘reader’ weak. There may be serval reasons as to why such as: it may make writing ‘reader’ easier as they don’t have to have a strong personality (after all docile characters don’t necessarily need too much thoughts to them to make it work), if we are talking about a yandere context it may make the yandere seem more intimidating, it may be a preference by the author. After all we all have our own preferences. It would be extremely boring if everyone agreed on anything. I personally don’t mind weak ‘readers’ at all.

I personally hate the overly bratty/ bitchy/ rude ‘readers’ and I find them annoying (I’m thinking of the stereotypes, like Wattpad and etc.). I think it’s extremely frustrating how a female character almost always has to be physically strong and a ‘badass’ in order to be considered a ‘strong/ powerful woman’. I think that a female character is 100% able to be considered strong without being a warrior with non-feminine qualities. Being a strong female lead is not about how many men she can kill or how much she bench presses, it’s about being true to herself and being kind without letting others step over her (not saying that women can’t be physically strong obviously). She needs to stand her ground and not let anyone ruin her dreams hand her belief in her self.

I think the new Snow White movie is a good example. They made her be a strong leader who doesn’t need a romantic relationship. Which is in itself nothing wrong (I love a strong leader), but it’s too contradicting to the original story. Yes, Snow White was no fighter, but she was kind and helped everyone around her. She didn’t let the dwarfs boss her around, but instead lived in harmony with them. Is she the best example for a strong female lead, no, but that doesn’t mean she isn’t a strong female character.

My point is that I’m so incredibly sick and tired of seeing these ‘strong female leads’ that are only considered strong if they act ‘manly’ or is a fighter. Katniss on the other hand is a strong woman, but it’s not purely for her fighting abilities. It’s her morality and mental strength that makes her powerful. (I really do love Katniss and I think she is definitely one of the best female leads).

Little Women is also another great example. The sisters are all so different, but at the same time extremely strong in their own accepts.

And remember a weak character doesn’t mean she can’t be strong. That is a misconception that irritates me. Take Yui from Diabolik Lovers. Many people call her weak, but I disagree. In the games her personality really shines through and it’s impossible to say that she isn’t a strong female lead.

So will I make ‘reader’ or [Name] a strong female lead? The answer is yes, but not necessarily the way you might think. There are many ways to make a character strong that isn’t just purely physical strength and that’s extremely important to remember. Robin is a strong female character and it isn’t because of her physical strength.

Will [Name] be a feminist? Absolutely. I would never make a female character that isn’t a feminist.

Anyways, I hope I answered your questions anon and I hope you have a great day as well!❤️

If anyone has any other questions about Astralis Desires, please let me know! I will be happy to answer them❤️

[thesummerestsolstice]

Hi! I hope yoı are doing well! I have a couple of questions if you dont mind me asking. Just what are orcs in your universe? By which I mean are they inmortal? Do they have afterlives? Do they have thwir own settlements and cultures? How are they affected from the presence of evil? What do they generally think about Sauron and Morgoth? Are there any of the original orcs surviving until the Third Age? I have so many questions!

P. S. This got longer than I expected, sorry aboyt that.

Don't apologize– I'm always happy to share my thoughts about the Legendarium. As background for this; I made a post about why I dislike orcs in canon– feel free to check it out, but mind the content warning. This also got very long; I basically dumped the entirety of my orc worldbuilding into it.

CW: the creation of orcs, violence, dehumanization, referenced child abuse, Sauron and Morgoth being Sauron and Morgoth

So I'm going off the the idea that the first orcs were elves Morgoth took from Cuivienen. These elves had no idea what the Valar were; they were taken from their homes and families, brought to a strange, dark place away from the stars, and corrupted by Morgoth's dark power. Some gave in, some fought, a few managed to get away. Those that didn't were changed into something... different, though they still weren't really orcs.

What Morgoth wanted was an unquestioning army that would obey his commands. It didn't work out that way. While his brute-force power was able to twist the elves' bodies, their souls, their free will, was much harder for him to corrupt. The violence they had been through, and the darkness of Morgoth's constant presence, left them too weak to be a brutal fighting force, and most of the maybe-elves held fast to memories of better days, and their unwillingness to hurt others. It was then that Sauron, cleverest of Morgoth's lieutenant's, stepped in.

See, the maybe-elves, despite the horrors they had been through, were still very elven in many ways. They sang, they crafted, they fell in love, they had children. And that was where Sauron saw his opportunity. He took the children as soon as they no longer needed their parents to stay alive. Unlike their parents, the children were more used to the darkness, stronger, and by virtue of being so young, much easier to mold into what Morgoth desired. Especially since Sauron had no ethical qualms about using violence to get them to behave.

A few generations of this, and you arrive at proper orcs. In some ways, they look elvish– pointed ears, sharp features. In other ways, they look rather different. Most of them do not know they are descended from elves (mind you, it's more myth than fact for the elves as well), and those who do have heard it only as a faint legend from a time long gone. They don't speak any kind of Elvish, they speak Black Speech, a language Sauron tailored as a tool of control, and as a way to stop the orcs from communicating with anyone else. They are strong physically, darkness no longer sickens them at all, and other than their earliest years with their parents, all they've known is harsh training and Morgoth's doctrine. Morgoth has his army.

Still, it's never that simple. Violence and indoctrination can't keep everyone in-line, especially once there are too many orcs for Sauron to constantly be watching. And after all, their loyalty to Morgoth is formed mostly out of fear; Many rebel against being forced to fight when they don't want to, they refuse orders by letting their enemies escape rather than capturing or killing them, they keep a few of the old stories alive, they start whispering in a new language Sauron had no hand in, they kill a few balrogs along the way. Some of them escape. Not many of them do, and some of the escapees end up dead; killed by animals or harsh conditions, or fearful men, elves, or dwarves. But as the First Age wears on, many of them find their way to a few settlements, deep in the mountains or forests, far to the east of Angband. They live in relative peace there, though meetings with nearby men often end violently; the orcs might not be mindless monsters (or doing Morgoth's bidding, anymore) but the men certainly see them that way. The orcs, who have only ever seen men on the battlefield, think much the same.

When Morgoth is defeated, many, many orcs die in the War of Wrath and the collapse of Angband. Those still living flee the wrath of Valinor's armies, disappearing into the far reaches of Middle-Earth. Many remain loyal, mostly because they don't really believe Morgoth could be gone, and because they've never known anything else. Certainly, the Valar and elves don't seem to offer anything better. Dead orcs, like elves, have souls destined to stay in the world. There's a closed off part of Namo's Halls for them. Many (but not all) of the Valar are very certain that they shouldn't be let out under any circumstances.

Things get more complicated in the Second Age but this is already a lot; I can type it up later if people are interested.

[ourstarsystem]

personal experience so i dont rlly have a huge scope on this. but i don't think i can call my experiences being raised as a cis girl for 14 yrs of my life "female socialization" and i dont want to, nor do i find that framing to be very intuitive...

this post ended up kinda long so im putting it under a read more

the way ppl are using female socialization kind of suggests it as someone melding in perfectly with the gender roles/behaviors society expected of them, like it's a strong internalization that we fully accepted until coming out as trans and that like. confuses the fuck out of me. cause i never even fit in the spot of "cishet girl" that was expected of me. it was a title thrusted upon me that i tried to redefine in every way to make it palpable cause i didn't know any other option existed. i felt like a wholly different gender from the people i grew up around and i purposefully rejected how i was expected to behave while kicking and screaming, because it felt intrinsically wrong for me to be what they wanted me to be. (my mom even gave me the words "gender neutral" to call myself long before i came out, and it was my favorite way to describe myself)

and like, luckily for me my punishment for going against this wasn't super extreme, but i still was very much punished by my peers. with my family such as my dad and extended family members, there was this subtle aspect of needing to gently correct my behavior through suggestion by hoping that i would some day start acting "like a girl" and show interest in what that means, but they eventually gave up when that day never came.

ive picked up on survival methods against cishet men because i know how they see me and what i have to do to avoid being a victim of their violence. and i dont think that's a very unique experience at all... like i dont think acting in specific behaviors under duress as a survival tactic makes something a part of someone's personality. i do the whole fake polite thing even though i really wanna bite their head off but i do not have any sort of physical self defense available to me. idk how to articulate this super well so...

it really just seems like "you were exposed to these gender roles so you're more willing to engage in behaviors associated with the gender society forced you to pretend to be" ... shrug

[qwuilty]

Hiii it's morning and time for more postal 1 dude idea vomit <3

This one is much more headcanon territory, treading and elaborating on old ground, so forgive me if some of it sounds a bit like repetition. I'm mainly going over stuff like his thought process, morality, and some family stuff! Also, sorry for the awkward wording cause i wrote most of this while i was trying to sleep. |D

Dudes sense of morality is very strange because he esentially had to make it himself based off of learned experience. Growing up undiagnosed and gullible with a overly prideful mother and an apathetic father divided meant neither instilled particularly strong values in him.

Instead he had to learn from his peers, whatever bits and pieces of influence he could get from family, things he got punished for, and just pure lived experience with all the confirmation bias and incorrect conclusions that comes from it.

There is an Uncle Dave equivalent in my headcanon idea of Postal 1. However, with the tone difference, he's a little different. A relative from Dude's mother's side, he's part of a similarly extreme view of God in a similar tone to Postal 2 Dave (God is good, guns are good, god gives us guns, those who dont want us to have guns are bad and against god) though he hasn't gone full compound. He probably goes more by David, but lets Dude call him Uncle Dave.

He's probably one of the people who were the most kind to Dude, but due to his extremist views and awkwardness, truly speaking and relating to him, it led to some bad influence. I think he would have tried to write to or see Dude once before when he got the insanity verdict, but gave up and was unable to face him with the feeling of guilt for not "seeing it coming".

Dude's view of God in general as a figure is complicated, being given three contradictory accounts from his family.

To his mother, God was to be listened to, never to be questioned. His judgment was always what was right, even if it was cruel, as they must have deserved it in some way. He was the judge of all men, and whatever sentencing he gave was final, no matter how inconsequential the "crime" was.

To his father, God was a cruel bastard who threw you out to the wolves, made you figure things out on your own, and never was there for you when you needed him. He was no better than any man on earth and deserved to be questioned and derided for his poor judgments as well.

And to Uncle Dave, God was benevolent, kind, and always watching over his children. Always there to listen, there to answer your prayer, and always there to see when you were acting up. So Dude had better watch his back unless he wanted to have a lot to answer for at the pearly gates.

Dave had likely meant it in a more joking manner to get his nephew to stay out of trouble, but the image of God as a constant surveying force burrowed itself in pretty deep in Dude.

Along with conflicting ideas about God, he has his own strangely built idea of trust from life, mainly related to people. Having grown up different neurologically and physically from his peers, even on a smaller scale when he was young, wasn't easy. He was subject to teasing and bullying at a young age, beginning a lifelong alienation from his peers that lead to his unfortunate fate.

Because he never could trust those who looked nice to not be talking behind his back, it lead him to have an instilled distrust of anything conventionally "kind" or "pretty", associating those things with people trying to hide their true nasty nature. He wasn't mean to others because of it or even really hated them for it, it just made him very distrusting, as if he was bracing himself for a rug pull or being dropped. It caused his guard to rise more, feeling like they were trying to compensate for something and catch him off guard.

This instilled distrust of the "normal" in life also carried onto his life outside of school, from things like advertisements with happy smiling people on them (especially ones that looked at the camera), traditionally loved animals like golden retrievers or butterflies, others with almost condescending tones, and homes that felt a little too nice. When at the peak of his paranoid state, just seeing normal people walking around or talking made him start to worry.

In reverse, however, he's less scared of the uncanny, the "if X is true, then there's the opposite Y" mindset he built meant anything strange was just being honest. Plus while he doesn't think about it purposefully, he thinks of them as being similar to him, sort of underdogs and scary for the "normal" ones. To him, if they display their unsettling part on the outside, there can't be much of any on the inside, whether that be something simple like goth people (I like to imagine him adopting the look when he's more comfortable with himself, sort of a reverse where the more goth he is the happier he is and the more casual he is the opposite follows) to outright horror figures being slightly comforting.

P1 Dude's mindset is paradoxically very complex and incredibly simple.

He knows plenty of strategic ideas, writing techniques, big words, and bits and pieces of his past school life still stick with him. He tends to think very deeply about things he does, about life around him, stories, and even more philosophical ideas. Some of it he writes down, and some he lets go. He also enjoys learning new things and sharing those things he learns, even if he does so a little strongly.

Dude does at least try to keep himself somewhat grounded in his thinking, mostly to keep himself from getting trapped in any harmful thinking, hurting the innocent (as far as he can when he's not deep in a bad mindset), and giving too much time to more "out there" conspiracy stuff akin to faked moon landings, aliens, cryptids, or the typical "(insert group of people) caused everything bad ever" ideas, but he tends to get caught in a loop in his thoughts.

He worries about something, because he worries about it that something comes to fruition, that fruition leads to a reinforcement of the idea, and that reinforcing leads back into worrying. It's an awful cycle, and with no real learned way to cope, it only got worse and worse with age. When he's allowed to think, it rarely stops, and though he is self aware at moments, he has no way to correct the behavior.

He's also incredibly prone to a black-and-white idea of the basics of life. Good people and bad, there is no identity behind them, but they're incredibly concrete ideas to him. Some people protect and some people hurt, and he is meant to protect others, at any cost. He has problems handling the idea of a grey, the idea that most things in life aren't binary. It scares him, the idea he can't do good for everyone, and that even if he tried there will still be those who are hurt or unhappy.

A lot of his self-worth was built on the idea of what he did for others, getting good grades, being kind, never complaining, and doing what was expected of him, but when he wasn't able to keep that up his world crumbled below him and no matter what he did he only ended up falling further. Even during that horrific survival state, he had the base idea of keeping those outside safe, deciding he had to handle the infected police force and act as the one to take those suffering out of their misery. It's both selfish and selfless in a way. He wants to do good for others and save everyone but also decides he is the one who gets to decide the fate of those around him to do so.

Part of the simplicity is that "if X then Y" thinking, following almost a rudimentary idea of justification and reasoning. The biggest part of it is him in the moment of combat, focusing on trying to keep himself alive to continue the fight, and it still lingers in the moments in between when he hides in the woods or in abandoned buildings to patch himself up. If he keeps at it he'll have to find a conclusion, there has to be a reason for the wrong, and if there is a source he has to be able to end it, however even before he was still a victim to it, if I do what others want then I'm doing good, if I look normal people will like me, if people like me they won't hurt me anymore, if I become what they want then I'll truly be loved.

It's just not how the world works, no matter how much he wants it to be true.

[transgenderer]

Ok. Lets say I buy that youre presenting as you truly "feel inside". How is separating trans women from womens sports (where high school age males regularly outperform olympic level females) or prisons causing violence to the trans women? And if it is, is it causing more or less violence to the women raped in jail or denied scholarships or assaulted in changing rooms?

hmm. i wanna break this down into pieces

first of all, my personal experience doesnt really accord with the idea of transness expressing who i am inside. i think of it more in like...lower-level terms? like, i experience immense discomfort ("dysphoria") when seen/referred to as a guy, or when i percieve myself as having features that would cause people to see me as a guy. i take hormones to modify those features, and ask people to use she/her, etc for similar reasons. ANYWAY

okay, so first of all...i dont really care about the sports issue! i have a lot of trouble caring, basically at all. my defense of the pro trans-women-in-womens-sports positions comes from the fundamental arbitrariness of the categories involved. theres no particular reason to separate sports into mens and womens, instead of say, short and tall, strong and weak, or even categories that dont really affect performance, like black and white, blue eyed or brown eyed, left handed or right handed. people like watching sports, so we have a system to organize them, and at some point people decided men and women shouldnt compete against each other. but like....it doesnt have to be that! is it any more fair that a short guy cant get a scholarship for basketball than this hypothetical cis girl who cant get a scholarship because shes been beaten by a trans girl? i dont feel like it is! the whole sports scholarship system is kind of dumb

i feel like the sports issue isnt really about sports? like, sorry, but nobody cared about womens sports already. i mean i dont care about any sports. but people who care about sports care about mens sports. because of sexism or whatever. so it FEELS to me like the role of gender-in-sports is much more about public signalling/consensus-building about who counts as a woman

okay, so now that weve got trivialities out of the way...prisons. prisons are fucked up, i think having a penal system is important but prisons are such cesspits of rape and abuse and suffering. trying to apply harm-reduction considerations to prison policies is weird, because theyre systems that are just...totally uninterested in harm reduction, that actively choose harm increasing. but lets try anyway. i think, pretty inevitably, an out trans women who is sent to a mens prison for longer than...idk, a couple weeks(?) is going to be physically or sexually assaulted, just...as a certainty. theres a lot of men who are aggressively hostile towards trans women, and it only takes one among the whole population of people who interact with her for there to be a bad incident.

heres my argument for why putting trans women in womens prisons is probably harm reduction, even if you assume trans women are just as dangerous as cis men. imagine if 1 in 10 men want to assault a trans women, and 1 in 10 trans women want to assault a cis woman. (i think this is pretty generous to your argument!). if you put the trans woman in mens prison, she interacts with enough different men that she definitely gets assaulted. if you put the trans woman in womens prison, there's a 90% chance nobody gets assaulted, so unless that bad apple is assaulting TEN cis women without getting caught, its harm-reduction to put the trans woman in with the cis women.

oh, and changing rooms. changing rooms are crazy! i dont know why we have communal changing rooms. building a bunch of changing stalls is not that expensive. being made to strip naked (or like, to your underwear) in front of a bunch of your peers is terrible, its absurd and awful we make kids do it, we should stop.

[goldenasirpa]

Ive been chewing on this a lot and I think that just because the writers confirmed everyone is queer does not mean that they all understand that part of themselves yet.

To me this season was very much about Nandor struggling with his (toxic) masculinity. Hes mocked basically from episode one for being a 'soft boy', for being lonely, or for valuing diplomacy in his leadership which is definitely an active choice in straying away from his "conqueror" past. He is desperate for real, genuine love and acceptance because he is afraid of being alone ("Im not gonna be the last person in this house.") And more than anything, he is afraid of not being taken seriously or respected for who he really might be under his Warrior Exterior (insecure, kind of awkward, gentle, romantic, diplomatic). Especially when Guillermo teases him (the number 2 thing) he seems really hurt by it all. And in the last few episodes he just throws all appearances to the wayside to be dramatic, attention seeking, and tempermental.

So here is what i think. I do not think Nandor has any idea he has feelings for Guillermo. I do think if Nandor has has relationships with other men (i.e. Laszlo) they have been few, and he has seen it as need-based and nothing else. I do not even think Nandor meant to confirm his bisexuality when he was talking to Meg.

I think Nandor is trying very hard to be masculine (and straight) and finding its not fulfilling, but also finding that when he tries to explore himself people mock him at every turn. So i understand why he wants to bail.

We have to remember that Nadja and Nandor are a lot older than Laszlo, possibly more stuck in their ways, and they are from eastern european/asian countries. A lot of Nadjas arc has been about overcoming sexism, but also combatting her own insecurities as far as what being a strong woman is to her. Nandors arc then has been opposite; uncovering what being a strong man means to him in the modern world, and whether he even wants that.

Guillermo is, i think, the best representation of internalized homophobia in the show. We as an audience know that Guillermo is gay. Guillermo also knows he is gay as evidence in The Casino. But he is clearly uncomfortable talking about it, and fast to dismiss even the implication he has feelings for Nandor (and physically even runs away from his feelings in Cloak of Duplication). He spends all season justifying his attachment to Nandor, to himself and to us. And it is at least implied that Guillermo is a virgin. Catholic guilt is very real after all. Its possible that while Guillermo knows he is gay, he is resigned to not pursuing or accepting it. (Maybe using the goal of becoming a vampire as a way to ignore it)

So for the record, I dont think Guillermo knows he has feelings for Nandor either.

So while i am hopeful for the inevitable reunion, i hope we get to see EVERYONE gain some character development apart from each other for at least a few episodes. We dont really know what Laszlo and Nadja are like without each other. We definately dont know what Nandor and Guillermo are like apart from each other.

So i think it will be nice to see them all try to decipher themselves before they come back together. And id love for Nandermo to realize they have feelings for each other while they are apart.

[quenthel]

barely any art tip posts ever were useful to me mostly bc they are either made by people who are well meaning and talented but bad at being a teacher or professional artists (which can be an issue if you pick up art as only a hobby). A lot of the times these posts dont really point to the basics i think so many times the advice can be incomplete (like the infamous dont shade with black post or the million advice content abt how to draw men and women).

firstly i think its important to be in the correct mindspace:

- art is labor. even if you like it it requires mental and often physical effort. so not being able to make anything after an exhausting day or week is normal and expected.

- its good to always keep in mind why you are making art. if you do then later when you are feeling unsure or discouraged you can always thing back like “oh i started because i wanted to draw a cool beast” and then remember all the cool beasts you drew.

- its good to have a strong internal motivation to do art. i get the million posts abt how you should rb art or whatever instead of liking but (aside from the fact that those posts dont work bc guilt tripping others to do something is just not a good strategy on the long run) that kind of need for validation can make your relationship with what you make pretty unhealthy. Seeking validation and showing off what you make is fine but if thats the #1 reason then things are going to get difficult.

- get comfortable with being uncomfortable with your art. maybe you dont like the quality. maybe the idea you have is too hard so its a struggle. maybe you cant create at all and its frustrating. but its all part of making anything so its good to be patient.

the other issue is usually the tips only go for a specific art style or way of making art. But there are general pieces of advice on how to improve any type of art you make:

- get familiar with your tools. whatever they might be, spend time with messing around with them, trying out stuff, looking up guides on yt etc. you cant expect pencil to work the same way as pastels or drawing programs. each is unique

- you have to practice! maybe not at first but the only way to improve if you are unhappy is by practicing. an easy first step is simply practicing how to draw various lines and easy shapes, or making lines using a template and trying to replicate them as much as you can. These are for training your hands to actually do the things you want them to do.

- use references! not just when you are making studies (which are useful) but also if you are making anything. may it be pose references, face references or color references they are always useful and improve whatever you are making. even if you get inspired by somebody else’s work its ok to use that as a reference as long as you are not tracing it and then posting it online as your own ( thats a dick move and you are trying to pass off somebody else’s labor as your own)

- even if you have a more cartoony or stylized artstyle you should STILL use references and practice drawing things semi realistically to understand how things really look and work etc.

- even when coloring you should use references!! colors change depending on light so its easy to go wrong with how you color

art is fun but its also frustrating and takes a long time to master, just like anything else. so if you are patient with it, learn to make it for yourself and keep doing it one day you will be good and thats cool

[kookingtae]

falling into you (pt. 8) PREVIEW

pt 1 | pt 2 | pt 3 | pt 4 | pt 5 | pt 6 | pt 7

→scenario: Jungkook’s innocence is like a breath of fresh air in your wild life, and though you know you’re toxic for him, you just can’t seem to stay away.

→genre: college au, slow burn, mutual pining, shy/nerd jk + bad girl oc (mature themes)

→a/n: so i’m not finished with pt 8 yet, since it’s such a climactic chapter it’s taking a bit longer than i anticipated unfortunately BUT i dont want u guys to think ive forgotten about it!!! i know u all are waiting so patiently, and i cannot thank you enough from the bottom of my heart <3 i hope this preview keeps you excited for what’s to come!

Jungkook could never face Y/N again.

God, how could he, knowing that he’d not only finished in five minutes like a pubescent teenager, but also in his pants while she was on top of him?

Embarrassment didn’t even begin to describe the mortification he felt. He’d never wanted the earth to swallow him whole as much as he did in that moment. Sure, he was aware of his slight social anxiety, the way he was constantly looking to bolt from uncomfortable situations—but this was different entirely. This was new territory for him; he’d never done anything remotely sexual with someone else, period, much less with the girl who hung the stars, moon, and sun in his eyes. What was he supposed to do? There was nowhere to escape to in his own bedroom, no running away from his problems that made him uncomfortable. No, he had to stand there with his head down and his crotch dripping wet while he practically begged her to leave. He had never been so ashamed of himself. He had never felt so pathetic.

But then Y/N surprised him like she never failed to do: she’d given him reassurance, another kiss even, while telling him that she actually enjoyed the experience—went so far as to say it was the best in her life. Now he knew she was lying to spare his feelings. Of all the men Y/N had been with, there was no way a virgin cumming untouched in his pants was the best of them. She was cruel to make him believe otherwise, to give him false hope.

He wouldn’t allow himself to think any differently. He couldn’t allow himself to get hurt.

Which was why he made it his mission to avoid her at all costs—something he’d gotten very good at over the past few months, and the past few weeks, specifically.

But in the same way he’d learned from the patterns of her daily routine and used them as a means to remain hidden, she’d also learned his and utilized them to her advantage as well. It was the only explanation as to how he was turning a corner inside the art building (about to take the rear exit, since she usually waited for him out front) and suddenly she was standing right in front of him.

He instantly skidded to a halt, heart rate shooting to astronomical levels and eyes widening on their own accord. “Y-Y/N,” he stuttered out involuntarily, the sight of her causing every single detail of their time spent together to come rushing back to him like a tidal wave ready to wipe him out.

As if he needed another excuse to think about the moment they shared that had changed him forever, about the way her moans sounded in his ear and her body felt on his lap and the way she touched his cheek, his neck, the way her lips felt on his skin, god help him—

Already he could feel the beginnings of a blush start to rise to his suddenly hot cheeks, and he cleared his throat and shifted his weight from one foot to the other to keep from springing yet another boner in front of her.

He slid his books in front of his waist, just in case.

While she usually approached him with the natural ease of self-confidence and charm, today she seemed worried, unsure. She chewed at her lower lip—something he didn’t think she really ever did, as he would certainly remember the way it stirred within him—and looked up at him beneath delicate lashes that framed her eyes.

He didn’t have it in him to keep from outright staring at her beauty.

“I… I missed you,” she finally murmured, and he felt the breath physically whoosh from his lungs to join his butterfly-filled stomach all the way at the floor.

It had been a few days since he’d last seen her, since she’d been in his room that night where they opened up about their past and confessed how they truly felt about one another and shared the most life-altering moment he’d ever experienced. He missed her too, god he missed her. He missed everything about her the moment she left his side—would picture her face in his mind as soon as she left his field of vision. But for some reason unknown to him, she was too kind to him, spared his feelings despite knowing what little experience he had. There was no way he’d be able to satisfy a girl—mentally, physically, emotionally—who could have anyone she wanted. Perhaps she pitied him. Either way, if she wouldn’t put a stop to it, then he would.

Or so he’d try, but alas, nothing ever went according to his plans where Y/N was concerned. And here she was, three simple words mumbled into existence and he couldn’t even remember his own name, much less why he’d been trying to fight this.

She seemed to expect he would say nothing—either that or she’d grown used to his silence—because before he had enough sense in him to even think about responding, she was speaking again. “How have you been?”

The question was asked with deliberate, genuine curiosity and concern; she really wanted to know if he was okay, how he was handling things after what had transpired between them. And no matter how hard Jungkook tried to fight this, fight her, fight himself, he was only human.

And so he stopped fighting.

“I– I missed you too,” he breathed out, and it was like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders and relocated to his gut. He tensed at his confession, mentally berated himself for his words even though she’d been the one to say them first. He felt like he couldn’t breathe, what with the way his throat locked up.

Though the second he witnessed the smile that sprang to her tantalizing lips, he felt as light as a feather floating in the breeze.

“You did?” Her eyes lit up, sparkled under the fluorescent hallway lights that still managed to capture all of her beauty despite the unflattering lighting. He didn’t think it was possible for any scenery, not even that of a dull and stuffy university building, to make her appear any less breathtaking than she always was.

“I was so worried after I left last week,” she continued without prompt. The mention of his premature finish had him stiffening in dread, though she didn’t let enough silence fester between her words for the anxiety to claw its way up his throat. “I didn’t want you to beat yourself up. I’ve noticed you tend to be too hard on yourself sometimes.” She glanced up at him with the hint of a sheepish grin dancing on her lips.

Her expression said it all: that’s an understatement.

And this shocked him to his core, because she was absolutely right.

Just how well had she gotten to know him in their time spent together over the last few months? And how? And why?

The last question would always boggle him until the end of time; he would never understand why she was interested in him. Why was he the one she had feelings for, when she claimed she never had feelings for anybody? Though he supposed he could ask himself the same thing: why did he feel things for Y/N that he had never felt for anyone else in his life? And the answer was quite simple, really: because it was her.

He didn’t know what about himself was so special to make him stand out in her mind, and as a result he still couldn’t help but be skeptical, even after her confession. But it wasn’t like he had any choice in the matter on what to do with that skepticism—not when his heart kept leading him back to her.

At some point after her accurate description of the inner turmoil that’s been plaguing his mind, his mouth had fallen open slightly. He couldn’t hide the surprise from his face even if he tried; he was speechless.

Y/N gazed up at him, not seeming in any hurry to rush the conversation along, and for that he was grateful. He’d never met somebody so patient and understanding before—just another reason to make Jungkook’s heart flutter with endearment. And it was no secret to himself anymore that he yearned to be in Y/N’s presence for as long as possible whether he was aware of it or not.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know,” she continued as if she could read his mind, and that was when he realized the way his eyes avoided hers and the fact that his skin was the color of tomatoes must’ve been dead giveaways. “I meant it when I said that was the hottest thing I’ve ever experienced.”

Jungkook balked, practically choking on his spit at her forward, shameless words. He didn’t think he’d ever get used to the way she spoke her mind so openly without any fear holding her back. She’d gone through so much in her childhood, in her life—Jungkook not even knowing the half of it, he’s sure—and yet she was still so strong and brave and everything he wasn’t. He couldn’t help but admire the person she was today, despite all the prejudice and judgment he’d held for her when they first met.

He realized now that he was too quick to judge her, to write her off based on rumors and first impressions. He realized now that he was too quick to do that to a lot of people. Just how long had he closed himself off from others based on his skewed, morally righteous perspective? His whole life, if he had to say.

The epiphany that she was physically prying open his third eye with a crowbar, that he was now self aware and changing for the better for her—for himself—hit him all at once.

It was the most frightening sensation of his life, the introvert in him wanting to crawl back into his shell where it was safe and comfortable and dull. But deep down he knew it was also for the best.

“W-why?” He heard himself asking before he knew what he was doing. “Why do you keep saying that?”

He had to know why she insisted on standing by her statement that his mishap was not only hot, but the hottest ever. Why did she insist on lying to him, on giving him false hope? She spoke her mind in every other situation, or at least that’s what he assumed; why did she insist on sparing his feelings in this incident? Was he really that pathetic? Did she pity him that much?

She simply blinked at him once, twice, before: “Because I really like you, Jungkook.”

As if in slow motion, you could visibly see his eyes expand to the size of saucers at your words.

You would’ve found the sight comical had the situation been any different. But the way he continued to disbelieve that you could have feelings for him, that you could be attracted to everything about him despite who he was, despite his inexperience—it made your heart break in your chest. You now knew from where this inferiority complex stemmed—he’d told you himself about his family situation—and if anything, it made you want to rebuild his confidence that much more. He needed to see himself the way you saw him.

But you also didn’t want to overwhelm him, either. And you were more than willing to walk that fine line with Jungkook no matter how long it took.

“So are we on for a study sesh tonight?” You continued nonchalantly, wanting to return things to normalcy for him as much as possible before he ran away mid-conversation as he’d done so many times before. You wanted to ease his self-doubt so he’d stop avoiding you—like he’d been doing the past few days—as much as possible.

Jungkook blinked as if trying to adjust from the whiplash of your subject-change. “U–uh… if you want?”

“Of course I want to,” you replied without missing a beat, not caring how desperate you seemed so long as he didn’t question where you stood. You took a step forward, unable to help the intangible, magnetic draw you felt to him as you gazed up at him beneath your lashes. “That is… if you want to.”

You watched in agony as a gulp slowly raked its way down his throat.

“I–” his voice was hoarse before he cleared his throat. “I uh, can’t tonight. I have to study for math.”

You weren’t even sure how one studied for math, but you weren’t about to question the expert. “That’s fine! We could… do it tomorrow?”

Jungkook chewed at his bottom lip, an action he always did when he was internally struggling with something before he finally nodded his head yes in a slow, hesitant manner. “N–not in my room though,” he added as an afterthought, and when your gaze snapped to his he had a pleading expression in his eyes.

A mix of emotions rolled through you. On one hand, you were horrified at the possibility that he thought the only reason you wanted to study again was so that you could get in his pants. Which—okay, you’re not going to lie, you would love to have a repeat of last week—but that definitely wasn’t why you wanted to see him. He meant more to you than just a means to get off, which was what you’d thought of flings in the past. You didn’t want him to be just a fling, though.

You didn’t want to think of the meaning behind that fact right now, either.

But on another hand, you understood where Jungkook was coming from. Maybe it was because you’d studied him enough over the past few months to learn some of his behavior (for once you finally saw the appeal of studying), so you knew that level of intimacy was probably extremely overwhelming for Jungkook and he needed a moment to step back. Hell, it was even overwhelming for you, and that was saying something. Never had your senses, your heart, your body, your soul been attacked like that with such an abundance of emotional pleasure, and you hoped with all your might that Jungkook was feeling the same—that that was the reason he needed a breather from being alone with you, and not the fact that he just didn’t want to be intimate with you.

Unless…

Oh god, had you misread the situation entirely? Had Jungkook hated everything about that night?

Suddenly you were feeling sick to your stomach. The thought of you misunderstanding his confession—or worse, him changing his mind completely—made you want to escape to a dark and desolate stairwell and cry in the hidden nooks of the windowsill again; the irony that not only would you be pulling a Jungkook by escaping mid-conversation, but that the stairwell was also the place the two of you had your first real conversation, wasn’t lost on you.

“M–my roommate is staying in, studying for finals.” The sound of Jungkook’s voice was like a breath of fresh air whooshing into your lungs after almost drowning underwater. You blinked out of your inner turmoil, focusing on him. “So he’ll be there, i–in my room, this whole week.”

And suddenly your heart was warming with relief, hope, appreciation, like flowers blooming in the spring after a torrential downpour. Just when you thought you had him figured out, this enigma of a boy continued to surprise you. It was usually easy for you to hide your emotions—you’d been doing so for years, always wore a mask around others so that they couldn’t see the real you—and yet somehow, Jungkook must’ve sensed them anyway. He sensed the doubt, the pain, the fear that you vowed never to cage you crawling up your throat and threatening to consume you whole, and he eased it. He didn’t want you to misunderstand him. He wanted to reassure you.

If anything, that was just a testament to how Jungkook had broken down your walls—how much you had let him in, how well he was able to read the emotions you wanted to keep hidden. Your mask had begun to break, the real you showing through the cracks, and Jungkook was still standing here. He hadn’t run away.

You fought the urge to grab him and slam your lips onto his.

“Not in your room, then,” is all you managed to breathe out beneath a fluttering smile.

[wickedpact]

life's hecticness has finally kinda caught up to me and im just feeling super worn down and im seeking comfort in the old guard and because your blog always sparks joy ive come to you. on the subject of comfort do you have any thoughts on coping mechanisms/ways to comfort themselves the members of the old guard have? and similarly, ways they help comfort the others too? i would love to hear any and all thoughts you might have on the matter <3 - 2ta

in terms of comforting others:

nicky: words. i think its kind of interesting, but every time in the movie we see as character in emotional distress nicky speaks up (its okay nile, tell us, sono qui, everything happens for a reason boss) the only time he breaks this habit is when booker talks about grief in the lab.

booker: we dont rlly see booker explicitly comfort people much but he does seem to tend towards expressions of solidarity or subtle check-ins/expressions of concern (for the former he tells nile about his family, he tells nile big wounds take longer to heal, he reminds andy that ‘this is what you wanted’ and for the latter he asks andy post-stab if shes alright, he tells andy he wont see her again, etc)

hes also quick to (rightfully lmao) accept blame (after the kill floor, when he wont get up when the squad escapes, and the scene where he and andy get captured)

joe: he doesnt do a whole lot of comforting to the non-nicky’s out there interestingly enough. he encourages andy like the others do just after the baklava scene (i know you needed a break but its been over a year boss) he also tends to make little light hearted jokes/comments to lighten the mood sometimes (this plus 'faster than the elevator', etc)

and i suppose one could say him answering nile’s questions during the dinner scene are a type of comfort in itself, tho .. .... his answers arent exactly reassuring lmao

nile: So are you good guys or bad guys?

joe: Depends on the century

(j o s e p h you could have given her a more reassuring answer than that!! altho depending on the person, straight honesty can be very comforting in of itself, and joe prolly knew that andy would dance around nile’s questions and be generally unhelpful)

but additionally joe is a pretty strong protector and worrier about his friends’ well-being. he advocates for finding nile in the train scene and tells the others to ‘cover andy’ when they find out shes mortal

(plus the little touch he does to andy’s back!)

andy: andy’s mileage varies when it comes to comforting (primarily nile of course bc shes the Distressed One in the movie) but a lot of the time she tends towards offering stability and loyalty (me and those three men in there will keep you safe, you’re one of us now we would do the same for you, [to nicky] this changes nothing) which of course makes sense for her. stability and loyalty obviously probably mean so much to andy and as Team Leader shes probably very used to offering those things

nile: nile is more the comfortee than the comforter in the movie for all the obvious reasons, tho i think its interesting that at the end she tells andy ‘youre gonna [spend the time you have left] with us, andy’ not only bc shes delivering that stability/loyalty right back at andy but also bc shes also a leader (in the marines) so she might have a similar situation as andy with offering stability & loyalty as a Leader

being comforted:

nicky: the most notable instance of nicky being upset and getting comforted is obviously the van speech, tho like ive said i doubt joe’s go-to method of comforting nicky is a Speech. tho also (obviously & as ive talked abt a lot) i think he takes a lot of comfort from the idea of destiny/fate and the idea that he and The Lads were all destined to be together. he lomves his friends and hes happy when theyre happy

booker: alcohol.

honestly im not even sure how booker would really like to be comforted/comfort himself besides his given Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms. i think he does take a lot of comfort in his Solidarity with andy tho. considering his ‘that way madness lies’ comment about the immortality and his comment in the comic about ‘whats the purpose of an uncertain immortality?’ and his tendency towards tech, i think he’s the kind of person who likes when things are explainable and logical (and u could say thats a way he foils with nicky i suppose)

joe: him touchy

ive been meaning to make a gifset thats just Joe + Reassurance Through Touch but i keep forgetting about it. hes a very tactile boyo. in the comic while theyre having the nile nightmare joe reaches out and physically grabs nicky’s arm/shoulder in his sleep, like hes subconsciously checking hes still there. he worries So Much about the others (nicky in the armored van, nile in the train scene, andy post-mortality) and their well-being that i think he takes a lot of comfort in knowing all the lads are okay and safe (esp nicky)

andy: like i mentioned i think she likes loyalty and stability, which is obvs something shes had a serious lacking of throughout her life. ik u arent super into the comics but the recent tales through time story about andy went over how she takes comfort in the idea that her axe belonged to her mother once, even if her modern-day axe has had all its parts and pieces replaced so many times its not the axe her mother gave her 7000 yrs ago anymore. however andy still clings to this idea of her axe being her mother’s axe (‘this is the labyrs she held in her hands’). the memory of her family/mother and the stability of having the same axe with her through her history obvs comforts her a lot.

nile: again similarly to andy i feel like loyalty/family comforts nile a lot. she followed her father’s footsteps into the marines and worries about her loyalties to them through the first half of the movie, and tries to go home & thinks about her mom and brother through the whole thing.

(plus, music obvs means a lot to her)

[traincat]

if you dont mind i would love to hear your thoughts on how and why peter seems to be more fulfilled by lower paying jobs (i.e photography, teaching) rather than by high paying jobs in STEM

(Sorry for the wait, anon! I did get this first ask, as you can see, it’s just that sometimes I tend to hoard asks that I want to give long in-depth answers to and then they get buried.)

So I think to best answer this the first thing we have to do is look at Peter’s 616 employment history -- what jobs he’s had when and for approximately how long. So here we have a more or less definitive list -- I may have skipped over a few minor jobs that aren’t important in the long run of the character history, but for the most part this is accurate. For the sake of brevity I am not going to count things he’s done as Spider-Man that have earned him money, like a brief bodyguard stint or his occasional time with the Avengers, because this is really more about his identity as Peter Parker and how his civilian employment plays into his life as Spider-Man than about his life as Spider-Man.

Works for the Daily Bugle on and off, through a variety of positions from part time to salaried, from the age of 15 onwards. Primarily a photographer. How good of a photographer Peter actually is varies from writer to writer, but he remains unmatched in his ability to get certain shots ranging from ones of Spider-Man (duh) to particularly high risk environments (different duh). He also briefly worked for rival newspaper the Daily Globe, the Bugle’s main competitor. His position as a full time newspaper photographer is his most well known (and most consistent) job.

A TA in grad school at Empire State University. At this point in time he labeled himself as having “the wrong temperament” for teaching -- and I would personally say I think his stints teaching college are much less engaging than high school.

Published author. His book, Webs, a collection of his Spider-Man photography, was a major bestseller that sent him on a book tour around the country. I hesitated sticking this on here because it’s very tied into his work with the Bugle -- and he was still working for the Bugle when the book was published -- but I figured it was worth including for the novelty of the fact that Peter’s technically a best selling author/artist.

Peter worked as a scientist at Galannan Alternative Research for Immunization Development (GARID) in Portland after his clone Ben Reilly took over the identity of Spider-Man. Although often overlooked in discussions of Peter’s job history, I think his stint at GARID is important in part because it illustrates how much of Peter’s time being Spider-Man took up and how a job with flexible hours was necessary for that balancing act. When he was working at GARID, Peter wasn’t Spider-Man, so it wasn’t difficult for him to keep a position at a laboratory. 

I mean granted the GARID job didn’t last long and there was sort of a whole big mutated monster case going on with it but you know. Anyway he pretty quickly moved back to New York and started working for the Bugle again.

Peter’s next major job at a lab comes in another period where he’s supposed to have quit being Spider-Man. (Which he did, very temporarily, and then he very much didn’t. Anyway, you’re seeing the pattern here.) He briefly worked at Tricorp, a private brain trust. This is a really short-lived position, even as Peter’s science gigs go, because -- Spider-Man.

At this point things get dicey employment-wise as Peter heads into a weird period of canon where Mary Jane was presumed dead. She wasn’t! But everyone thought she was. It was weird. When MJ came back (and promptly left for LA, not that I blame her), Peter exited this period of limbo by becoming a science teacher at his old school, Midtown High. This is the main career, beside news photography, that I think he really shines in.

Civil War/One More Day/Brand New Day hit and completely tank the direction of Spider-Man history. Peter’s marriage is erased by the devil and also he’s not a high school teacher anymore, for some reason, even though nobody remembers he’s Spider-Man anymore which is the reason he initially lost the Midtown High job. Make it make sense. Anyway, in Marvel’s desperate scramble to take Spider-Man back to the unmarried basics, as if they even got new readers that way, Peter returned to photography. When Dexter Bennett bought the Bugle out from under JJJ while JJJ was sick, Peter began working for the newly minted “DB” as a tabloid photographer. It wasn’t great.

He also briefly at some point in here worked at a comic book store for like five minutes. Mostly he complained about people who read comic books and made jokes about how he doesn’t get along with the X-Men. 

Under Slott’s run, Peter began working at Horizon Labs. Slott had a pretty major problem with Peter’s genius not being “recognized enough” and constantly had him inventing new things, showing off, etc. 

Horizon Lab became Parker Industries under Otto Octavius when he bodyjacked Peter during Superior Spider-Man and made himself CEO. When Peter got his body back, he was still CEO. It was bad but Peter did tank the company on purpose so that Otto and also nazis couldn’t get their hands on it, which was sort of fun. 

Peter went back to work for the Bugle, but as their science editor, because Slott was still in charge and there was some weird commentary about photography not being an adult job. Which I think is pretty weird in a medium that’s very dependent on visual art. But okay.

Then Peter got fired because he was busted for plagiarism of Otto Octavius’ work... that Otto did himself... while he was in Peter’s body... and Peter couldn’t reveal this because then he’d have to explain... and maybe I hate comics. 

In MC2 he becomes a forensic scientist! I really like this for him actually. I think it combines his interests and experiences in a very thoughtful way. But I do want to note it’s after a Spider-Man career ending injury, so again there’s not a real conflict there between his work as Spider-Man and a career.

Peter I think is an especially interesting case in how his character ties into his employment history because one of the first things he does in his story is figure out how to make money, and he does this because the Parkers don’t have any. If Ben and May were comfortable -- even comfortable enough that their teenaged nephew was unaware of financial pressures -- Spider-Man’s story would be completely different. But Peter immediately feels he pressure to use his new powers to earn money, at first with brute strength. And what he says he’s going to do with his earnings is that he’s going to take care of Ben and May:

(Amazing Fantasy #15) So the concept of Peter as someone who is very aware of financial pressure and who is pretty explicitly linking money to support is present from the absolute beginning. But at the same time, there’s a kind of selfishness presented in him here -- he’s only going to take care of Ben and May. They’re the only ones he cares about here, because as he’s stated they’re the only ones who have ever “been kind” to him. Peter at the beginning of his story is very rooted in his anger and his bitterness, and it takes him losing Uncle Ben -- because it wasn’t Peter’s “job” to stop the burglar -- to get him to the point where he starts to be able to see beyond that.

Ben’s death also heightens the Parker’s financial pressures -- Ben is the primary earner in the household. (Aunt May in the original context of the early 1960s was most likely a homemaker, and as an older woman especially she wouldn’t be expected to have a job. But even moving the timescale up to a point where she would be expected as a woman to hold down a job, it’s important to note that early in Spider-Man canon Aunt May is depicted as being in very poor physical health.) While it’s not clear in the initial Spider-Man stories what Ben did, it’s clear that with his death whatever income the Parkers had coming in abruptly stops:

(ASM #1) This sets in concrete one of the central conflicts Peter and May have -- both of them lie to protect the other. Peter feigns being an ordinary boy in order to protect May from the stress of his secret life as Spider-Man, worried that she wouldn’t be strong enough to handle the danger he regularly puts himself in. But this is a learned behavior, and here we see that he most likely learned it from May: she doesn’t want him to worry about the very deep financial troubles they’re obviously in, so she pawns her jewelry, and she stresses to him the importance of his education. Again I have to note that there are some pretty significant social differences between the 1960s and today in regards to this story -- Betty Brant, for example, notes that she had to drop out of school and become a secretary because of her own family’s financial problems, something she’s ashamed of. So early Spider-Man is very rooted in money, class, education, and how those things intersect. I think it should be noted that the only early Spider-Man characters who are financially well-off are Liz, Gwen, and Harry. (We don’t know anything about Flash’s financial situation in early Spider-Man comics but retroactively we know his family situation is not well-off.) In high school, Liz’s father is a bigshot who owns a dining club, but later on the Allans experience financial hardship with Liz quite literally being on the streets when Peter reunites with her when he’s in college. Harry’s father is a rich businessman, but from the beginning he’s depicted as emotionally negligent, caring more about money than spending time with his son:

(ASM #40) “After all... I had a business to care of! Money was the most important thing of all! I had to get rich! I needed wealth... for that was the key to power!” So right away you have this link between wealth, corruption, and negligence. Norman’s pursuit of wealth is his given reason for his neglect of Harry. Later on we’d learn that Norman’s father was also abusive and that that abuse formed Norman’s ideas about power and wealth. (Spider-Man! It’s about cycles of abuse!) There’s a very contrast between Norman’s attitudes here and the Parkers loving (but poor) household. Gwen is the only exception here -- she and her father are depicted as comfortable, most likely edging into wealthy, although on nowhere the level the Osborns have been elevated to. But compared to Peter, Flash, and Mary Jane especially -- all from poor households, with MJ and Flash’s fathers both being abusive -- Gwen’s home situation is the picture of stability, both in terms of economic status and in terms of her loving and very present father.

My goal in outlining all of this isn’t to say that Spider-Man’s message is definitively “money is bad” because I don’t think it is. I think as a series Spider-Man is very aware of the comfort that money can provide. But I think there is a frequent message about excess in Spider-Man -- excess power, excess wealth. As Norman says above, in his eyes, money is the key to power. With great power, comes great responsibility. In Norman hoarding and abusing his wealth, he abuses his power. If he provides for Harry, it is solely through money -- there is no love or devotion in Norman’s money-focused world. And I think that’s important when you look at where Peter starts in his story, before Uncle Ben’s death. He’s going to use his powers to make a lot of money and he’s going to provide for Ben and May but he’s not going to care about the world outside of that. I think one of the interesting things about Peter -- and this is where Slott’s run especially fails the character -- is that he’s not interesting in getting rich. He’d like to be comfortable, for sure -- he’d like to have enough money to not have worry about it, to not have the need to hustle impede what he can do as Spider-Man, to be able to take care of his family. (And there’s some machismo stuff linked in here for him too -- in the early days of their marriage the fact that Mary Jane earns much more than him is something he struggles with.) But he doesn’t care about being rich. He doesn’t care about the money; he cares about the support that the money would bring. 

That feels like a simple statement but I think it’s actually a really big distinction, especially when you’re analyzing a character. And I think it’s because Peter understands that value that it makes him so empathetic to others who have financial struggles. One of my favorite short self-contained Spider-Man stories is called Windfall, from Marvel Fanfare #42, where a mixup with a check embroils Peter in the personal affairs of a bank teller, a young single mother who is fired from her job ultimately because she refused the advances of her boss. Peter gets her her job back -- through blackmailing the boss for his other sexual affairs, which some people might think is immoral of him, but I think really speaks to Peter’s understanding of how the greater world works, and what he’s prepared to do to get bigger justice. But more importantly he uses his own money to pay the young woman’s rent, and he does it in a way where she never even knows it’s him. Because he understands her situation, the way someone who had grown up comfortable never could. And that understanding I think puts him a place where it’s more important for him to both keep that understanding and maintain that ability to act relatively freely, in the way that bigger, more prestigious positions in scientific fields might restrict him. There’s a reason he keeps getting fired from these scientific positions and it’s not that he can’t get them, because we can see from his employment history very clearly that he can. It’s because the freedom to act as Spider-Man and what he can do as Spider-Man is ultimately more important to him.

And while high school teacher is my number one favorite profession Peter has ever had, I think that his position as a newspaper photographer is also very important to the character’s history, in part because the Bugle is such a big part of his life and the connections he’s made but also because the Daily Bugle itself is important. I think it’s interesting to note that two of the biggest superheroes of all time from both of the big companies -- Spider-Man from Marvel and Superman from DC -- have had long running journalism jobs, Peter as a photographer and Clark as a reporter. I don’t think I really have to go into a whole thing about how good journalists are so important and why it matters that we have these incredibly famous mythic figures that are positioned in the roll of journalists specifically. But I do think it is important to Peter that he’s put in that position as someone who cares about uncovering the truth. So ultimately I think what I mean when I say Peter is more fulfilled by his jobs as a photojournalist and as a high school teacher than by his comparatively more high paying stints working as a scientist in a lab is that Peter gets the most fulfillment out of careers where he can actively see, day by day, that what he’s doing is helping people, and that it’s a very direct line from him to the people he’s helping. His efforts can’t be twisted, they can’t be used for other purposes the way they can within a larger organization. He has a line of control in what he can do to help other people. It’s like how Spider-Man functions best as a street level hero: what he does best is saving and helping individual people, on a case by case basis. And you can turn around and demonstrate that in his civilian life best in jobs where he gets to directly interact with people. And ultimately to Peter making that difference is more important than a better salary.

(Marvel Knights Spider-Man #9)

[loser-writings]

Kazuichi Souda Headcanons

{@sally-wonders​} (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻ I JUST SAW THE DANGANRONPA STUFF AND I AM SCREAMING! dlsfhlfhksg I dont even know where to start, so, at first I was wondering if you have any headcanons for my man Kazuichi, I love him so much! I always wondered how he would be into an actually relationship, because the inflatuation he had with Sonia was a thing, but also serving to compensate in his low self steam, even if he was an ultimate, he also has the historic of abuse and bully by their piers and all  with the sharp teeth and pink hair to try and look cool and all that as well, also he would have to deal with all that happened in dispair island (what wouldnt i give to know how they dealt with that man :'3), especially acepting the fact that Sônia does not like him. Because of the whole dream girl with blonde hair and he kinda projects this idea of her instead of herself. Jqrjjgwrj sorry I babble a lot hehe

I hope you enjoy this long list of a variety of headcanons. These may not hit all of the points you were asking, but I hope this is satisfactory!

・・・・✪General Headcanons✪ ・・・・

Kazuichi is a very anxious person so he is constantly fiddling with something. Little electronics, his wrench or tools he has on hands, or his fingers. If he can’t mess with something, his anxiety goes through the roof.

He can read in English! He taught himself how to read English so he could read American comic books before they’re officially translated. He also can understand English since he watched so many English action movies. He can speak it, but it can be broken and his accent is very strong.

He can actually sew. Since he learned by watching his mom, he can fix and alter clothing. He can also sew and throw together blankets and stuffed animals. He actually owns a small sewing machine. It isn’t expensive or amazing by any means, but it can get the job done.

He spends a large chunk of his money on keeping up with his hair and keeping his contacts in check. His hair grows extremely fast so his roots show, and he has a horrible habit of sleeping in his contacts since he can’t stand his glasses. 

When you catch him off guard, he just lies about what he is doing. He doesn’t mean to, but it is just a natural reaction since his dad would get mad at him no matter what his answer was. Because of this, you have to give him a moment to calm down and go through the 3 different answers he has before he can actually say what’s going on. This also happens if he is on his computer or his phone. He naturally hides the screen, even if he is just looking at car parts or how to fix a certain thing.

He can be a bit perverted and oblivious to somebody's flaws if he finds himself becoming attracted to them. Despite this, he is honestly quite the sweetheart and would have a heart attack if somebody were to return his feelings. 

He has pretty bad trust issues and this can cause tension between him and others. This also causes him to believe things that aren’t always true based off of his distrust alone.

He doesn’t actually like his appearance, even after he changed it. He originally changed it to keep away bullies and get the attention of women, but when he looks in the mirror, he doesn’t exactly like it. He didn’t mind his black hair or his normal eye color, he just hated his glasses.

Will flinch if someone raises their hand at him because of his fathers past abuse. He can’t help but flinch, and this is horrible with men who are taller than him. Safe to say that Gundhams mannerisms and weird poses aren't appreciated.

・・・・✪Relationship Headcanons✪ ・・・・

As stated before if someone were to return his feelings, he would be so lost on what to do. He never had anybody treat him with much kindness and the fact that someone he admires likes him back is just mind boggling to him.

I headcanon him personally to be Bisexual. He may have a physical lea for women, but he does find himself genuinely attracted to men as well (@Hajime) I think the big thing that decides if he likes you or not is if he thinks he can trust you.

Due to the past abuse and issues regarding friends and classmates, he would need constant reassurance. He will have sudden doubts and will become extremely anxious at the idea of you leaving him for a variety of reasons. He will ask if you want him to change his appearance or something about his personality, and it never fails that he is shocked if you say you love how he is.

He can sometimes get lost in his childlike fantasies. He will change his personality at times and make himself believe things that aren’t true. The best thing to do when this happens is to just give him a quick kiss on the cheek and remind him that you are you, and not some fantasy. He will apologize and snap out of it (For the most part)

He isn’t the best at initiating things. He would do better with someone who is more willing to make the first move. Be the one to grab his hand to hold it, Open your arms so he can snuggle against your chest, Cup his cheeks to pull him into a sweet kiss, Open the door for him and press your hand against his lower back in public areas so he feels more calm. He really would appreciate it.

Some of his favorite dates are the ones that result in tons of affection. Building blanket forts before having an action movie marathon is his favorite thing. It always results in the two of you tangled impossibly close to each other. If he is the one being held, having you play with the messily chopped locks instantly has him weak. He will rest against your chest while watching the movies, looking up to steal kisses and nip at your exposed skin in an attempt to steal your attention away from the screen. If he is the one holding you, your hair will be played with and expect him to caress your body a lot. If he gets distracted from the movie, he will let his eyes and hands wonder. It’s not in a perverse way, but more curious. 

He actually studies how your body moves and how you feel. He is the kind of guy who is very interested in seeing how your “Parts” move and how things work. It’s not perverted (Usually) but instead it’s very sweet in an unusual way. He will find out unusual things he loves about you by watching how you move. Like how you stretch to reach things on a tall shelf, or how your body curls up into itself when your cold. Just how you move and your body language is something that always has Kazuichi staring. 

If he can’t be with you physically, expect many phone calls and video calls. He calls you every time he misses your voice or feels himself starting to get anxious. The most common phone calls become the ones that happen before bed. Kazuichi gets extremely anxious when he is alone or at his house with his dad. Because of this, it becomes a routine where he calls you before bed and falls asleep on the phone with you. If you love to sing, sing and play instruments on the phone to soothe him. If you like to read, read to him until you hear his soft snores on the other line. If you like to ramble, ramble to him as he hums along til he is asleep. 

Also don’t hang up. Seriously, he will hang up in the morning. If he has a nightmare, or something happens, he finds comfort knowing that you are right there when he needs you most. 

He doesn’t mind chasing after you, but please let him have something so he knows that all of the chasing is worth it. This is the man you go to if you want somebody to control. He just wants your love and attention, even if you are just using him. If he falls for you during the killing game, he won’t hesitate to kill for you.

・・・・✪NSFW Headcanons✪ ・・・・

Aged 18+ and Kink discussion below this post

Souda loves to leave hickeys and love bites. He thinks they’re so sexy and attractive, and will leave them all over you if you let him. He also ADORES having you mark all over him and will whine if you tease him by pulling away before a mark can be made. If you really want to make him feel loved, make heart shaped hickeys all over him. He will cry because he feels so loved.

He is a switch with a more submissive lean, but he does have his more dominant moments. If he is being submissive, expect him to whine and cry about things a lot. He can be a total brat, but its so worth it when you get to hear him moan and beg for more. He may not scream, but he is quite loud.. If he is being dominant, he growls and groans a lot. He doesn’t mean to, he just gets so caught up in the moment that he doesn’t even notice the noises he makes.

He has ended up with you in his lap in his car a few times. He just can’t help it. The most memorable time was at the drive in theater. You both were in the back and it just ended up with your hands being bound by a seat belt as he sat between your legs until he couldn’t handle waiting anymore. 

He CLEARLY is into body worship. He loves watching how you react as his hands sit and press themselves against your body. He will compliment absolutely everything about you, kissing your skin as much as possible, and let his hands and eyes do all of the work.

He is so into oral, both giving and receiving. He can sit between your legs pleasing you until you are shaking and can’t handle anymore. Just how you taste is so intoxicating with him, and he always is trying to get more. If you are sucking him off, he will pant and moan and whine the whole time. His hand is tangled in your hair or the sheets until he can’t take it any more and cums. If you swallow, he will be so turned on, but he also loves cumming on you

Kazuichi will hump and grind against anything. Your ass, your thighs, a pillow, clothing, the bed, anything. He has a high sex drive, so he has to take care of it often. Even when he is sleeping, he will grind against you if he is having a dirty dream. Hopefully you don’t mind, because he is actually quite embarrassed when this happens.

He has a fantasy of you waking him up with oral. He has quite a few dirty dreams, so the idea of you helping him out while he wakes up is a dream for him.

Praise kink. Seriously. Praise this man. He will CRY if you constantly praise him during sex. He was completely unaware of how much it would effect him during sex.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

I m just having these random thoughts. Like tae has always been very clingy and affectionate with other members like jhope or rm or jin or even jk. Whereas wgen it comes to vmin its mostly jimin being clingy. Like u can see even when vmin sit together its mostly jimin touching him or clinging to him whereas when they sit with others while jimin is equally touchy tae becomes clingier. Its so wierd and i dont know what to think.

Looking at the history of vmin from beginning until now (here’s an amazing timeline post by romanticdrift you should check out), in the first couple of years both of them were clingy and affectionate with each other, but also rough and lacking the experience that came with age of how to properly communicate with each other about their feelings and thoughts and in general. So, while in the beginning they just had fun with it, some of it being for show to entertain ARMY, some not, it’s true that things have evolved over the years and nowadays they are very different from how they used to be in like 2013, for example. That isn’t a bad thing though. It’s a natural progressing even.

Besides, Jimin and Hoseok are the two most physically affectionate members, that’s true, but just because that’s their love language (at least in primary free content, yet in paid content like ITS or BV, have you noticed how suddenly even they are way less physically affectionate, how the members don’t feel the need to constantly cling to each other, hug and touch each other, and rather just spend time together doing something or being in the same room doing their own things while enjoying each other company), we can’t expect everyone to have the same one. For instance, Yoongi is more about showing acts of service toward his members as a way of showing them how much he cares about them and loves them, it’s his love language. Does that make his affection for them any less valuable than when Jimin is clingy with another member?

If you look at how Tae’s behavior has fluctuated across 2020 due to obvious reasons in the first half while settling down and turning happier in the second half, you’ll notice that he’s in general “calmed down” with how affectionate in a physical way he is with the other members. He’s still silly and making jokes with them when he’s in a good mood, he still touches and shows physical affection toward Jimin, like in the RUN episode with Chef Baek and the rice cooker moment, yet there are also times when he simply doesn’t want to do that. It’s not a bad thing, and it also doesn’t have to say anything at all about the state that vmin’s bond is at. It runs so much deeper than some physical touch caught on camera during a 35-minute RUN episode, or lack thereof in some other content.

Jimin and Taehyung worked so hard and over a long period of time for the bond they have now, especially since they did it not as BTS Jimin and BTS V, but as Kim Taehyung and Park Jimin, the real-life people. They put in a lot, and I mean a LOT, of emotional and physical labor into creating and strengthening this bond they’ve always had (in some form or another) because they saw something in each other, saw that they’d found their person in each other and wanted to make it work despite their differences, despite hard times making not only their lives hard but also putting their bond to a grueling test, and at the end here we are today where their bond is literally one of the closest and strongest bonds I’ve ever seen.

More below the cut:

Now, imagine you put that much into a relationship (and for this argument the only viable reason for why they behave this way and guard this so fiercely is because there’s something romantic here since why else would they be so protective about their bond and “hide” it so much?) would you really want to showcase it so obviously to people, strangers who only wait for reasons (even if there aren’t any actual ones) to be vicious and nasty toward you? Just to see people drag your bond through the mud, to insult it, belittle it, and write it off as “fanservice” (even more than they already do) even though it’s something so precious to you, even though this person is your person, your soulmate, your special someone you want to keep at your side until you’re grandpas?

I highly doubt it.

And that’s where the difference lies. Yes, all the bonds in BTS are strong and special in their own rights, but what Jimin and Taehyung have, that is something so rare, so precious, so once in a lifetime, yet also something they worked so hard and long for and on, who would want to “sell” it to the public? Wouldn’t you, too, want to keep it safe and close to your heart? Think of Taehyung’s lyrics from the song he posted and then deleted off of twitter, of him wanting to protect his love from those with evil tongues, to save his love and save himself with an umbrella, think of the drawing from the Snow Flower cover of the boy protecting the flower with an umbrella from the snow. Wouldn’t you, too, want to protect someone who is this special to you, with whom you share such a special bond, from the horrendous opinions and words of others?

It’s easy to be affectionate with people who are your best friends, your found family, your brothers, and showing that to people, but showing the same with someone so important to you, with whom you share a different level and kind of connection, it’s a completely different story.

Besides, we still get glimpses of it from time to time, we see their affection for each other, and yes, it’s different, it might come across as weird to some, but that doesn’t make it any less meaningful and their bond any less real and deep than any other bond within BTS. Does the closeness of two members truly only depend on their on-camera affection, yet the moment it’s something we only hear about yet not see, therefore is something off camera and not for us to view, somehow not exist and not matter?

At the end of the day, we know so little about their private lives, and much of what you see and hear about from some is just speculations, some of which are f*cked up to say the least in regard to some other pairings within BTS, and yet the things we do hear about their private lives come from their own mouths, especially in connection to vmin, are immediately dismissed and ignored because…because some loud part of the fandom just decides that that’s how it is and everyone else is meant to just follow their opinion, I guess?

That’s not right, we know that and, in a way, I’m sure they do as well, but they follow their own agenda, one we don’t have to follow or agree with. What they do is their thing, but as vminnies, we know what we know, we see what we see, so instead of looking what everyone else is doing, why don’t we do as they do and stick to our opinions, our feelings, everything we know about Jimin and Taehyung, as individuals and as pair, and feel happy for them but also happy for ourselves because we got to witness them grow into the people they are today, in general but also with each other. Isn’t that much more valuable than some short touch of a thigh or a teasing joke?

I know it’s easy to fall into the pattern of comparing, especially when it comes to the amount of content you get etc, but just because others want to impose their bad shipper habits on us and take how supposedly real a pairing is solely based on “”moments”” and turn it into something akin to a di*k measuring contest, who’s to say we have to participate? Besides, regardless of which shipper camp wins, it has no effect on the actual idols, says nothing about their actual real-life bonds. They are the only ones who know the true nature of their bonds and their depths, so looking at everything we know about vmin, things they’ve shared with us through visuals and words, do we really have any reason to feel insecure about our opinions? What reason do we have to think of how much or how little affection and clinginess they show toward each other in on-camera moments as the be all, end all evidence and standard of their bond? When we know how much they’ve worked for this, how much they matter to each other, enough so to cry and laugh together, to sing a song about it co-written and co-produced by Jimin, for Tae to write 4 O’Clock and many more, and for them to decide to want to stay together forever? In the face of all that, is it really that imperative for us to see them share affection on camera, for them to be clingy?

Isn’t everything else we have, these more than eight years’ worth of friendship and more, isn’t that enough for us to see and know their worth to each other?

And sure, there are moments where they are clingy, where they are affectionate with each other, so isn’t that enough? Do we really need more, or some kind of elaborate explanation for why it is that way or not a different one? Besides, they aren’t eighteen-year-old boys and rookies anymore, they are grown men who want to be seen and treated as musicians, Grammy nominated ones at that, who have learned how to communicate their love for each other in a way they are most comfortable and happy with, so do they really need to cling to each other on camera? No. They don’t owe us visual proof of their bond, don’t owe us visual reminders of their bond either.

The fact that we still get glimpses of their bond is a wonderful thing and I’m grateful for it. Generally, the fact that we get to see and witness so much of the members lives is something we should treat as special and not as a requirement, like a quota they need to fulfill. They could only ever show up during comebacks and promotions, but instead we get so much, just yesterday we had Jimin spend time on weverse replying to so many posts and even coming back a second time a little while later into the night, also replying twice to posts about Tae.

From anon: I think that, especially Taehyung, has succumbed to restrictions and fan service and the falsification of everything. This is the problem with the entire Makne lineage. Maybe they are all very real with each other in their personal lives, but in front of the camera they all seem very scripted. Because of that, I think Vmin does not present himself in front of the camera and does not want any fan service. What do you two think about it? Thanks for great posts!

This is another ask we got a while ago that I think fits thematically. Even more so when you consider that many consider anything vmin do together just fanservice, thus belittling and cheapening their bond in such a blatant and awful way despite having no right to do so. I’m sure vmin know about all of this, have seen the comments since they are everywhere, so it can’t possibly be fun or pleasant at all. You could argue that they could just not care about what people say, could just not care about how their interactions are viewed as fanservice, but that is way easier said than done when there is practically no escaping those comments at this point.

There’s a shipping rule, so to speak, especially when it comes to real people ships, that you are to keep your shipping away from them and keep it somewhere where they don’t see it. That rule has long been broken, burned and turned into micro particles that can never be put together again. And we know that’s a fact because we literally had Tae tell a shipper off on Weverse, something that usually never happens. But it did. Not that it changed anything or had any kind of effect, but it’s more about the gesture itself.

As for the scripted part, of course much is scripted but not because they are fake, their personas are fake, and the whole BTS are family thing is fake, but because their words have weight. Their actions have weight. Everything they say and do is put on a scale, measured and accounted for, analyzed, theorized and twisted one way or another. While they could be wild during rookie years, now that they’ve reached this unprecedented level of fame for Korean artists, that’s not possible anymore. They have to be careful, have to be on guard during certain content, have to put their very best foot forward at all times. It’s hard. Incredibly hard. We’ve seen them struggle with it, but that’s how it is. And when you struggle, it’s easier to have a script, even just a loose one, you can follow to make it easier, to make you less unsure or keep yourself from overthinking everything you say or do.

One thing that is incredibly important to remember is that when they are on camera, they are at work, they are BTS Jimin and BTS V, BTS RM and BTS JIN, and while parts of their real personalities are also part of their BTS personas, it’s still work, not free time. Especially during interviews or performances, while backstage getting ready to go on stage, or while going from schedule to schedule. Think about it this way, vmin are affectionate and clingy and loud about their bond in places where we see them, so now think about how loud they must be in places where we don’t see them, in their private lives? 

Enough so for none of the members to laugh or react or comment on how casually Tae spoke about wanting Jimin to come sleep next to him. And enough so that Hoseok said that the person Jimin shows aegyo toward the most is Tae (though I’ve seen at least three different translations for this moment, the one I mentioned, another one that translates it as Jimin being spoiled the most by Tae, and yet another as Jimin treating Tae as big baby) in one of the Japanese interviews (NTV Buzz Rhythm) in July 2020, Yoongi nodding in agreement, the mention of that making Tae flustered (?) and want to downplay it a little by acting ‘surprised’ and asking “(To) me?”. This, too, is something we don’t see that often (anymore) yet it obviously must be there if Hoseok mentioned it and the others agreed with him. And at the end of the day, the members truly do know them, far better than any of us ever will. Or that time at the airport where Jimin waited for Tae and they only started to hold hands when they must’ve thought no one would be able to see it. Do things like this not sufficiently show that there are simply things they don’t want to show us? And thus, shouldn’t we simply respect their choices?

And even if they are calmer now, less clingy, less ‘showy’, we still got a bed selca they took while hidden behind their legs and blankets creating as though a wall so the ITS cameras didn’t see them, with a caption that…well, opens up some interesting implications (positive ones, of course).

Let me end this post on this: if vmin were just friends, or even if they weren’t friends anymore like some so vehemently insist is the case, surely there would be no issue for them to show their just friendship the way they show it with the other members, be clingy and affectionate in physical ways, possibly even just play a role of bestest buddies like some idols supposedly do, and yet they don’t do that. So, since they don’t do it, the only plausible reason I can see for it is that they simply have something between them that they want to hide and that it’s valuable enough to them that they want to guard and protect it, that makes their bond different from the bonds they have with the other members.

[antiloreolympus]

A Bunch of Anti LO Asks

1. I have a lot to say about lo’s writing so here we go:

1) there is so little foreshadowing. I can’t even name one instance other then Kronos being reawakened but that was a literal direct shot of it instead of it being hinted at. There’s very little to none at all ( correct me if I’m wrong.) 2) The pacing??? This all happens in 2 weeks but so much has happened and it’s all happened so slow it feels like it’s been at least a year ( in universe time.) 3) I feel like this has been said enough but using trauma as a way to move the plot along is literally the laziest thing I’ve ever seen.

I’m sorry if this is like hella stupid or something like that

2. i dont get why the writing in LO refuses to let persephone be dark and accepting of death/punishment, because isn't that what you need to show she's going to be a good queen? she seems terrified of the concept and keeps trying to find ways to reverse them, which goes against the whole point of ruling over the dead and even something in myth hades DID NOT like, so its weird to keep making her the opposite of what she's supposed to be? shes just making the case she's not right for the role?

3. apollo/hyacinthus is having such a big resurgence right now that i dont get why rachel didnt include them as friends/a couple persephone cares about and, when hyacinthus dies, have persephone resurrect him. not only would it show her kind nature and sway over hades, but it would also be some actual positive canon gay representation that has legit myth backing. RS obviously got most of her takes from tumblr, yet couldnt take the pro apollo/hyacintus take too? is her heterosexuality that strong :/

4. the whole r*pe plotline was BY RACHEL HERSELF said to not be included, she promised as much, and readers were excited they were finally able to see a depiction of HxP without sexual assault, only for it to turn out she was lying with only a measly "this might be bad uwu" warning on the ep, triggering many people in the process. then she tried to backtrack and claim it was a #MeToo moment, and that irl victims were haters for calling it out. That speaks to who she really is, and it's not pretty.

5. lo hades isnt even cute tbh. what exactly makes him so desirable to make all these women fight over him for? his design is basic (and kinda antisemitic, a guy with a gigantic nose controlling the media and all the banks/money? rachel please), hes not charming or funny, he talks over all the women in his life, never listens to being rightfully called out, he never apologizes or does any self reflection, etc. hes just awful??? like even by an uwu hes misunderstood POV hes just a boring jerk?

6. I think the reason Punderworld or HXP Ficlets doesn't get the amount of scrutiny LO does (and PW is def LO's rival, WT has begged to Feature it several times) is because they had the good sense to never get high and mighty about their depictions, something RS absolutely does all the time. In fact the PW creator constantly promotes over myth comics and loves other takes on the mythos, while RS flips out unless its exactly how she sees it. How she survived school w/ that attitude we'll never know

7. also if demeter was as evil in LO as they want her to be then why would she ever let her emotionally unstable child out into the city with no supervision and no way to contact her? Why would she be going through all this trouble including putting her own welfare into question like trying to keep persephone out of harms' way via the cruelty of thee olympian men and out of jail (WHERE SHE BELONGS) if she's the big bad? Why even make her abusive and evil to begin with? Can't Persephone love both?

8. even if lo needs a villain (which it doesnt but w/e) must it be apollo? or leto? or minthe? or anyone for that matter? if you need some ~drama~ just use eris? she doesn't need some tragic backstory, she's an asshole for the sake of being an asshole. you could so easily have her basically be like TMZ causing discord through her popular blog and causing shit because she can. LO shoots itself in the foot by trying too hard to be deep and thought provoking when its as deep as a puddle.

9. less persephone/hades and more dionysos/ariadne: whats more romantic? a man kidnapping his underage niece and her friends crying themselves to death over it (cyane) or ariadne being dumped by her first boyfriend only to come back with some serious bling and a hot divine partner that is at least the physical equiv of her own age? (dionysos is usually depicted as mentally/physically quite young, so the godly age gap is less creepy/statutory-y)

10. vis a vis the sexual assault anon: it is also something that happens with horrific frequency to trans people as well. the number of trans reports of sexual assault that get thrown out per year by sample size is almost 5x the amount of cis female ones. LO already has some weird terfy undertones with the fertility thing, but just because it happens less (or rather, is reported less) by cisgender men doesnt mean it happens the most to cis women.

[drivingsideways]

Misaeng review

Ok, it's been almost a week, so I feel like I can get my thoughts (somewhat) in order. As usual, I'm late to the party, given that Misaeng aired 6 years ago, and is already considered a kdrama classic. Still: thoughts!

(under the cut)

I came to this drama with quite a lot of expectations, both because I'd seen it on a lot of rec lists, and also because I'd watched director Kim Won-seok's Signal and My Mister, which are justifiably as beloved as Misaeng. I'm happy to report that Misaeng mostly lived up to those expectations!

The writing & direction work together to make Misaeng a very immersive experience, which is good, considering the entire run time is over 20 hrs. The level of seemingly mundane detail of the operational aspects of running a trading firm that they delve into (and other dramas might have avoided for sake of pacing) seemed odd to me at first, but eventually result in a world building that's incredibly well fleshed out. The (formerly unlikely!) high stakes of a misplaced piece of paper or octopuses in a shipment of squid end up being parts of an emotionally wrenching narrative whole fairly seamlessly. Still, at 20+ hours, Misaeng also does get into the kind of pacing issues that most of the slice of life kdramas I've watched so far have. And it didn't need to! I think it had a wonderful ensemble of characters, and if they'd maybe given a little more time and space to characters other than Jang Geu-Rae (Im Si wan) and Oh Sang-sik (Lee Sung-min), the mid portions may not have felt quite so, well, stuck.

But more than the strong writing and direction, it was really the actors who delivered. They made what could have easily been a dull-ish office drama into a heart warming story about human connection and the joys and troubles of leading an "incomplete life". I'd never watched Lee Sung-min in anything before, and about half way through the series I was like, HOW IS HE MAKING A SHORT TEMPERED, ALCHOHOLIC MIDDLE MANAGER SO SEXY? Like, serious props, dude. Lee Sung-min is by turns annoying and brash and too shout-y and stubborn and funny and so incredibly vulnerable as a man trying his best to live by his principles in a world that thinks they are an impediment to "success", that you forget that he's playing a fictional character-- he's someone you know, he's someone you've seen in the mirror.

His performance as Oh Sang-sik is very ably matched by Im Si Wan's Jang Geu-Rae. This series would not have worked if these two actors didn't have the chemistry they do, and play off each other in every scene. I had watched Im Si Wan recently- in JTBC's "Run On", in which I liked his performance quite a lot, but I absolutely loved him as the naive and endearing Jang Geu-rae. Misaeng, is in part, a bildungsroman narrative centered around Jang Geu Rae. Im Si wan brought a kind of vulnerability to the role that might have felt cloying and emotionally manipulative in the hands of other actors, but Im Si-wan manages to do it with a light touch. I feel he's one of those actors that uses his whole body in a scene, not just relying on facial or verbal expression, and it's a joy to watch.

Each of the other actors in the ensemble also bring that dedication and talent to their roles, even if it's in a single scene. There are lots of one-off characters that we meet during the course of the series, and every single one of them leaves an impact.

But! I'm going to pick a fave from the supporting cast and that's Byun Yo-han, whom I'd last watched as the broody, troubled (and very sexy) swordsman Lee Bang-ji in Six Flying Dragons. I can't imagine a character more in opposition to that one than Han Seok-yul in Misaeng, but Byun Yo-han just knocks it out of the park as the scheming, cheerful and mostly inappropriate clown with a heart of gold; Han Seok-yul is the definition of Chaotic Good, and you're equal parts horrified by his antics- which include sexual harassment dont @ me -- and yet charmed by him. I wish they'd given him a few more scenes and a larger plotline to work with, but I also suspect that he might have just walked away with the entire series if they did that. (Am I plotting that series in my head as I write this? MAYBE.)

Alright, this is getting a bit too long, so I'm going to get to the bits that disappointed me. That's really one major thing: the gender politics. I don't know how different the show is from the web toon it's based on, so I can't tell whether they made significant changes to the basic plot and characters. As in- I have no idea if the webtoon was as male dominated in every way as the show is, so I'm not sure how much of the show's treatment of women as a class, and its female characters in particular, I should lay at the door of the original writer vs the screenwriter and director. I'm also lacking the Korean context in which this was written and made and aired, so you may take my criticism with a pinch of salt, if you please!

That the show features mainly male characters is perhaps unsurprising and realistic, since we know that the kind of corporate life it depicts is very male dominated, top to bottom. The show also portrays the very real and horrific overt and subtle misogyny that women face in the workplace and out of it; mainly in the character of Ahn Young-yi, played with steely determination and quiet suffering by the lovely Kang so-ra. There are only 3 other female characters that have any sort of real speaking role- Sun Ji Young (played by Shin Eun jung), a senior manager at the company, Jang Geu-rae's unnamed(!) mother (played by the amazing Sung Byoung-Sook) and Oh Sang-sik's unnamed (!) wife (played by Oh Yoon-Hong, who's a delight in every tiny scene she has). There are other women who appear but in very minor roles, and often in "comedy" moments that often rely on sexist tropes to start with.

Anyway, right there you can see one of the problems- 4 women characters that have any kind of real screen time, and only 2 of them are named. Aigoo! Screenwriter Jung Yoon-jung is a woman, and like, I don't like putting the burden on any one woman to y'know fix structural misogyny, but I can't also help feeling disappointed that she overlooked even this "small" thing among the larger things.

But that apart, the main issue for me was that while the show doesn't shy away from depicting egregious sexism in the form of sexual harrassment, verbal and physical and certainly emotional abuse, in a manner that's clear that we are meant to be horrified by it--it falls short of depicting how women deal and work with it. It just doesn't give enough space to women or their worldview.

It's very comfortable depicting victimhood, but doesn't put work into depicting the ways in which women survive by finding solidarity with other women. We have a scene or two where Ahn Young-yi who is this show's poster child for female victimhood interacts with the older women who offer sympathy and understanding, but no real strategy or support. And yes, we see men also being targeted by their seniors for the grossest verbal and physical abuse; and it's men who help Ahn Young-yi strategise on how to deal with her situation. Real life experience tells me that it's the women who do this work for other women. I have certainly been on both sides of this equation, for one, and so has every woman that I know in corporate life. And yes, one of the show's core philosophies is that those who endure, survive--but it is none the less extremely painful to watch Ahn Young yi "endure" the kind of abuse she does as a coping strategy and a survival strategy.

At the end of it, when she slowly manages to gain the support of her sexist team, it's shown as a victory-- though naturally imperfect, because this show takes its Realism very seriously (right until the end where it makes a tonal shift into quirky that I was a little ?? about)-- and y'know, sure, it is a victory. And I absolutely understand the choices she makes and why she does it-- I guess I just got annoyed by the fact that other antagonistic figures in the narrative get a more straightforward comeuppance for their egregious behavior, but Ahn Young-yi doesn't even get a goddamned apology from her abusers. Instead, we have a half humourous, half serious moment where she comments on how she's working at turning herself into "someone cute"- because she understands now that sometimes the right strategy is to "go with the flow". Be the water that slowly wears away at the rock. It's an interesting moment- the men she tells this to are taken aback by her bluntness, but also a little clueless about what she means. It's the kind of nuance that I would and do enjoy. Unfortunately, it also closely follows one of the show's most annoying scenes at the tail end of the series- where it tries to play off workplace sexism and misogyny as comedy- boys being boys-Reader, when I tell you that I had to WORK to unclench my jaw--!

I'm not saying we should have a single and obvious narrative of female emancipation. I'm not against realism in fiction, but god, sometimes, please do remember that when we look for escapism, we are actually imagining a better world. The first step toward liberation is allowing yourself to imagine it.

And the show does allow other characters its moments of unfettered fantasy- Im Si Wan parkour-ing all over the rooftops of Amman- and having a semi mystical + Indiana Jones moment in the deserts of Jordan--so why, I ask, are the women not given that gift?

*looks into the camera *

Tl;dr: I enjoyed it, it made me cry every episode, and I cared about all the characters, and if you haven't watched it yet, treat yourselves.

PS. Yes, Han Seok-yul is a disaster bi, sorry, I don't make the rules. Yes, hotties Oh Min Seok and Kang Ha-neul are canonically naked in a hot tub six feet apart because they are bros. Yes, I will be writing the fix it in which they fuck like angry bunnies. Yes, I am going to put my shipper cooties all over this gen slice of life show, deal with it.

[cassyapper]

loving you may mean losing you but i dont mind (jotakak playlist)

dont talk to me about the title of this thing im embarrassed enough

anyway but okay so!!!! very excited to share this!!!! this has been in the works since september but my picky ass finally found an adequate amount of songs so here it is!!!!!! my jotakak playlist (:

special thanks to my lovely and wonderful friend jade for helping me finish this this thing <3

track list nd why i picked the songs that i did under the break!

1. the predatory wasp of the palisades is out to get us! by sufjan stevens i chose this song because it’s all about internalized homophobia and being in love with your best friend as a kid which RLLY resonates w jotakak imo. esp cause in the song, stevens’ friend ends up leaving abruptly, leaving stevens to wonder about what couldve blossomed if they had stuck together and worked through the difficulties together, which JOTARO....THAT IS JOTARO-CORE esp cause kak also “leaves” (dies). so this song was a v obvious choice for me and in fact this song is what inspired me to create this playlist in the first place

2. we are beautiful, we are doomed by los campesinos! this song is abt being in love with someone but you both have ur issues so it’s kind of a mess. considering jotaro and kakyoin’s (to point it quite frankly) trauma and the fact that both of them do jack shit to try and cope with it healthily, this song DEFINITELY fits them. esp cause this song mentions physical fighting and the imagery that goes with it (”he got his teeth fixed/im gonna break them”, “i’ve got a fist on fire”, etc) and the entirety of the bridge/last verse rlly gives me these two’s vibes so! ya (:

3. love love love by of monsters and men this song is the singer feeling like shes completely unworthy of being loved by this important person in her life, particularly because she has NO idea how to show affection and love the (for lack of better word) “acceptable” way, or any way at all really. this REALLY has jotaro vibes cause he is one repressed motherfucker and as we see the entirety of his story, jotaro is full of love he loves so much it’s just he has no idea how to properly express it cause he’s scared essentially. but that didn’t stop people from loving him, in this case, that being kakyoin. hhhhHHh

4. ribs by lorde this song is about being scared of growing up but due to the lyrics being written the way they are, i kinda spin the interpretation of it to be the fear jotaro and kakyoin had on the crusade to egypt, as they were the youngest and didnt know if they’d make it back and everything is just incredibly overwhelming there is so much going on all the time those 50 days. i can do a full analysis on why but that would be kinda long LMAO. for now let’s leave it at they have a very Unique fear of growing up but it still fits with the lyrics. particularly the last bit of the song with the “youre the only friend i need” verses,,,makes me think of these two...

5. can i call you tonight? by dayglow i interpret this song to be about trying to figure out what, exactly, your feelings are for this very specific and important person in your life. since jotaro and kakyoin r both repressed and also suckers of internalized homophobia, i think they fit that theme very well. particularly with the whole “i feel like we’re close, but maybe we’re not actually? what are we?” theme going on in the lyrics, this whole song makes me think of jotaro and kakyoin figuring out their intense and sudden (cause again only 50 days but also, those 50 days had So Much going on) feelings for each other. also the “now i’m no longer alone” line in the chorus HHHHHHH that’s them

6. la la la love song by toshinobu kubota ft naomi campbell SO I KNOW THIS SONG IS KINDA JUST FLUFF but we need some light-hearted moments in this thing hjgg;. ALSO toshinobu kubota is canonically jotaro’s favorite musician so i wanted to reference that and this was my fav love song of his that i’ve found so far so (: also the “you are my shining star” line,,,heh

7. truce by twenty one pilots so this song is very soft. it’s about tending to wounds and taking a moment before continuing to push on. it makes me think abt jotaro and kakyoin taking care of each other on the journey (for example the lovers arc/n’doul fight). also the whole “stay alive, stay alive for me/you will die, but now your life is free/take pride in what is sure to die” makes me go fucking nuts that is. that fits these two to a T fuck

8. this side of paradise by coyote theory this song has big “two lonely people are in love with each other for the first time” vibes and OHHHHHHHHHH THAT’S JOTAKAK.... there are a lot of little lines that make me specifically think abt these two, such as “love so strong it makes me feel weak” (jotaro-core...), “if you’re lonely come be lonely with me”, “i’ll be yours if you’ll be mine” (wanting some security while ur in love for the first time is common but especially for these two i think it works spectacularly) but yea this song as a whole is just...ohhh them. theyre in lvoe HK;FNJFL

9. i saw you in a dream by the japanese house EVERY. SINGLE. LINE. OF THIS SONG IS POST-EGYPT JOTARO. EVERY SINGLE LINE. and the ghost the singer talks about seeing? they hadnt changed at all? they were such a pretty vision, a perfect hallucination? BRUH... just listen i could do a whole analysis on this song it all just fits jotaro mourning kakyoin throughout the years so so so so well it makes me feel nuts holy shit i just. literally every line. every line fits i am not joking. i cried when i first heard this song LMAO

10. video games by the young professionals SO LMAO obviously kakyoin’s epic gamer moves are being referenced but beyond that i interpret this song to just be the fun parts of being in love esp when ur young (backed up with the “kissing in the blue dark” and the “watching all our friends fall” lines). also the chorus just makes me want to cry cause just, happy jotakak moments PLEASE. “the world was built for two only worth living if somebody is loving you, and baby now you do” THEYRE NOT ALONE ANYMORE THEY FOUDN EACH OTHER IM GONAN WAILLLLLLL oh my god. im nuts theynkjNJKNJF also “i heard that you like the bad girls” please. these two shitty teenagers

11. ikanaide by sohta ft. yuki kaai this song is abt not wanting someone u love to leave u cause youll miss them obviously but also ur scared of how the time will change you and if it’ll make you unrecognizable eventually. big post-egypt jotaro vibes 😔 especially cause one part of the chorus translates to “i shouldnt cry, i shouldnt cry, but the truth is i want to say dont go” and im jus like OHHHHH NO IT’S JOTARO FINDING OUT KAKYOIN DIED jkfnNKJFNJDhkld

12. therefore you and me by eve ALRIGHT. god this song is one hell of a doozy. i interpret this song to mean being sincerely in love but youre in the wrong place/wrong time. considering the uh Whole Situation in part 3 there were definitely better times to fall in love for these two. jotaro and kakyoin try to be happy w the moments they do have (i think the second verse in particular adds to this sentiment what with the selfish ghosts part) but they want a better environment understandably so theyre also just kinda ignoring things until they can properly care for a relationship. but well...who knows if theyll live to make it to that better environment ):

13. mayonaka no door/stay with me by miki matsubara this song is a v sweet sentiment abt like “it’s not just heat of the moment!! i do care about u a lot!!” and asking the person u have feelings for to stick around. big kakyoin and jotaro vibes as it would be easy to call what they have a fling considering how relatively short of a timeframe they had but i genuinely think their relationship was deeper than just that and this song nicely reflects such. “jotaro and i will share a room cause we’re both students” fuckin head ass

14. a thousand years by sting oh sting.... so since sting is kakyoin’s favorite musician canonically i had to add one of his songs here as well but beyond just that i do think this song fits them!! it kinda gives me big “if not in this life, then the next” vibes which is a big uhhh thing for jotakak. they may be doomed to tragedy but the moments they have together make the tragedy worth enduring ironically i feel like this song is mostly from jotaro’s pov considering i dont think he ever completely got over kakyoin and this song def has that kinda sentiment but hey it fits them...

15. mr loverman by ricky montgomery SO FUNNY STORY i actually REALLY. REALLY didnt wanna add this song at first cause i felt it wouldve been...idk too cliche? i guess? and i was ALL kinds of picky when choosing songs for this playlist HOWEVER. eventually i relistened to it and read the lyrics while thinking specifically abt jotakak and it actually rlly does fit quite well KJDFN; another jotaro mourning song ): it’s not just the chorus tho the whole song fits jotaro immediately post-egypt but also i feel like some time around part 4 this sentiment would come back to him cause Yknow. Gays In Morioh and the mess of his family life back in america. it just aches for him cause while he’s happy josuke is happy he wishes he couldve had that for him and kakyoin too but yea jus ... them

16. you by petit biscuit an instrumental?? in a ship playlist?? yes that’s right much like mr loverman i was hesitant to put this song in cause it’s harder to justify since i dont rlly know much abt music (and not to b controversial but interpreting lyrics and interpreting music r two different things) however i really think the vibes of this song fit jotakak. it’s got a somber melody but the keys of the piano are high which im taking to mean “light in the dark” which. jotaro and kakyoin (along w the rest of the crusaders) were each other’s lights in the dark. also the ending samples a conference/lecture talking about space flight and like. star platinum. space symbolism. jotaro. yeah

17. saturn by sleeping at last MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM. this song is all about losing someone very close and important to you, but reflecting on the good they brought into your life rather than the pain of losing them. this song also has HEAVY space imagery which stardust crusaders is absolutely chalk fucking full of so also it’s a very philosophical song and considering that jotaro and kakyoin are both Nerds and both got a nice view of the stars/space in the desert with each other, im sure they had conversations similar to the one highlighted in the song. i think it’s a good note to end the playlist on cause kakyoin is dead and jotaro is the survivor but it’s not a mourning song so much as jotaro taking the love he had for kakyoin and pushing forward with it allll th way into part 6

but yeah that’s the tracklist! i might add or take away a song or two but this is mostly it (: hope yall enjoy!